Testimony from Hillary Clinton Benghazi hearing — in advance!

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is due to testify before the House Select Committee on Benghazi to find the “truth” behind the attack that killed U.S. Ambassador to Libya Christopher Stevens and three other Americans on Sept. 11, 2012. Despite the fact that seven other congressional panels already have investigated the tragedy and have found no serious negligence, House Republicans felt the need for an eighth panel once it was clear that Clinton was running for president. Through the magic of time travel, we can see today how some of the testimony went:

PANEL CHAIRMAN TREY GOWDY (R, S.C.): Good morning, Madam Secretary.

CLINTON: Good morning.

GOWDY: I’m going to start this hearing by saying, on the record, that nothing about this hearing is political. Anything you’ve heard from three different Republicans that the purpose of the hearing is an attack on Secretary Clinton is wrong. They all just need to shut up.

REP. ELIJAH CUMMINGS (D, MD.): I suppose that’s why you had to return the donations from the super PAC that ran attack ads against the secretary? They ones that showed the graves of the four dead Americans? The ones that ran during the Democratic debate?

GOWDY: That had nothing to do with this hearing … This investigation is nonpartisan and fact-centric. Facts are neither red or blue.

CUMMINGS: Yeah, all that’s red here is your face.

(More testimony after the orange Benghazi-like squiggle.)